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Dear Hortense, I know you think I'm just that nerdy kid across the street, and that you only sent the invitation because your mother made you, but boy are you wrong! I'm protected by superheroes, and my superhero tells me that you're going to be very sorry, someday, for all the times you went sledding with the gang while I had to stay home and read my Bible out loud to father. You might think you're having fun now, but just let me tell you what's going to happen when your sled falls through the ice and into hell! I wonder if he got a lot of second invitations.