January 5, 1952
The Carved Cow
44 1/2 St. George St.
St. Augustine, Florida
-first page lost-
Have worked out a pattern for Mary Suskind's belt and purse and
it should be done in the
near future. She must be a very wonderful child. Why not? Look
at her mother!
I think I understand TenEyck even better than you even though you
have had him and I have
not. Remember, Jean, for a good many years lads of that age,
with all their problems, were
my business and a business in which I effected considerable
success. I know how lonely
the lad is, I know the emotional turmoil he has had to ride thru.
That he has done it is
a magnificent credit to his character. I don't blame him a
damned bit for having no faith
in me. I shall have to rebuild that faith again quietly and
slowly, and, as you say,
by definite action and not words. Yes, I suppose that is what
few contacts I have had
with Tiger Two I have ever emphasized his responsibilities to
you. I wasn't fair to him
but you must realize that my primary motivation was my absolute
and eternal love for you.
I do love you, Jean.
Doggone it! You were always a perfect example to me of that
phrase of G.K. Chesterson's
"...A Lady in public and a bitch in bed..." And that, my Dear,
is a compliment.
I am so glad that you have decided to become a Woman again
instead of a false male
economist. The graciousness and the sweetness of you was wasted
for a long, long time.
I only hope that I am capable of being a Man again instead of a
Don't know what to say about Mary Suskind. I desire her near me
as any man desires his
children but I know nothing whatever about little girl children
and am not sure I would
know how to act or react. TE I understand fully. Mary S. I do
not understand at all.
If she has your sensitivity she would probably help me.
Have gotten myself late some weird situations since you left me.
Seems you're the governor
on my motor. Wish to Hades I had your calm advice to guide me.
Things are tough here, we actually had to have a fire for an hour
the other day to take
the chill off and it wasn't until Sunday we could go into the
surf at the beach!
No, Woofels, I haven't written nor do I think I shall ever write
again. I've lost the touch
and the desire. I don't give a damn if posterity ever hears of
me. I destroyed all my MSS
several years ago. The future, rough as it may be, can do
without me. My dreams, my
emotions have all gone for nothing so why try again. So -- I'm a
quitter. So I've quit!
Under the current situation I am not eligible for the rites of
the Church but, for the last
year, I have not failed in one day to pray for me and mine.
I have been wrong in so many things. It's hard to live with at
TenEyck gave his offertory last Xmas (a year past) to his father.
I have not failed in my
daily duty since. It meant much to me.
You'd get a kick out of this place. I'm sitting in a little hole
in the wall trying to
sell belts. It's a helluva pastime for me because I'm probably
the worst salesman that
ever happened and I find them wandering down the street with a
belt that cost me more than
I sold it for! Well, at least I had the pleasure of making it.
My letters to you? Darlin' TRUE CONFESSIONS is not a good
outlet! Nothing will happen
financially this month. As a matter of fact I'll be lucky if I
live thru this month.
But I shall try to do something next payday and as soon as I can
get organized I shall get
in a regular payment you can count upon.
What in Hell are you doing in Chicago?