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company of very many friends when I came aboard, When I
came to Rotterdam, I found before me the rest of the banished
ministers, to witt, Mr Robert Traill, minister at Edinburgh, Mr
Jo. Nevay, at Newmilnes, Mr Robert M'Ward, at Glasgow, Mr
James Simpson, at Airth, Mr John Brown, at Wamfray, and
Mr James Gardner, at Saddle. Here I got frequent occasion of
preaching in the Scots congregation. In December 1663, my
wife came to me, and brought two of the children, the other five
were left in Scotland. Hitherto, I can say, dureing my abode at
Rotterdam, I have been in my body as free of pains and sickness,
and in my mind as free of anxiety, as ever I have been all my
life dureing so long a time, and makes accompt that my lot is a
great deal easier than of many of those that are at home.
Now, when I look back on the whole, I find the Lord hath
given me ane body not very strong, and yet
not1
weak. I have sometimes continued reasonable long ryding, both journey and
post, without great wearying. I hardly remember that I have
wearied in reading
and2
studying, although I have continued sometimes seven or eight houres without riseing. I have had my
stomach as well after reading ane whole day, as after ryding or
any other exercise. Since I began to preach, I hardly ever used
any bodily recreation or sport, except walking, nor had I need of
any other. There was only two recreations I was in danger to be
taken with. The one, I had not the occasion of it but some five
or six times, and that some forty years agoe. It was hunting on
horseback; but I found it very bewitching. The other was singing
in ane consort of musick, wherin I had some little skill, and
took great delight; but it
was3
some thirty-six years since I used
it. I had twice an hot feaver, once in the school of Stirling, and
again in the year
16624
in Lanerk.
From fourteen years of age till forty, I was oft troubled with
the magrim; from thirty years of age till fifty, I had severall fitts
of the gravell, but hardly ever took it, except when some outward
**************
1
"Very."
2
"Or."
3
"Is."
4
"1622."
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PAGE 193
evident cause brought it on, such as watching, fasting, wetness,
or cold in my feet, or immoderate studie. I was of ane waterish
constitution, and sometimes troubled with the tooth-ake. I
thought the use of tobacco helped me. Twice, through cold, I
had such ane pain in the lower part in my back, as I could hardly
stirr; once in Edinburgh, and again in Leith. I was alwayes
short-sighted, and could not discern well any thing or person
afar off; but hitherto have found no need of spectacles, and can
read as long on small print, and with as little light,
and1
wearying, as almost any other. My inclination and disposition was
generally softly, timorous, averse from debaits, rather given to
laziness then rashness, too easie to be wrought upon. I cannot
say what Luther affirmed of himself concerning covetousness;
but I may say I have been less troubled with covetousness and
cares nor many other ills. I rather inclined to solitariness than
company. I was much troubled with wandering of minde and
idle thoughts. For outward things, I never was rich, and I never
was in want. I do not remember that ever I borrowed money
but once in Ireland, some five or six lb. sterling, [and] I got it
shortly payed. I choosed rather to want sundry things then to
be in debt. I never put any thing to the fore of any mentenance
I had; yea, if it had not been for what I gote with my wife, and
by the death of her brother, and some others of her friends, I could
hardly have maintained my family by any stipend I had in all the
three places I was in.
And for my spirituall condition, I cannot deny but sometimes,
both in privat and publick, I have found the Lord work upon my
heart, and give confirmations of his kindness and engadgements
to service; but I doe not remember any particular time of conversion,
or that I was much cast down or lift up. I doe remember
one night in the Dean of Kilmarnock, having been most of the day
before in company with some of the people of Stewartoun, who
were under rare exercise in their
minds,2
I lay down in some
**************
1
"With as little."
2
"Exercise of mind."
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