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PAGE 192

company of very many friends when I came aboard, When I came to Rotterdam, I found before me the rest of the banished ministers, to witt, Mr Robert Traill, minister at Edinburgh, Mr Jo. Nevay, at Newmilnes, Mr Robert M'Ward, at Glasgow, Mr James Simpson, at Airth, Mr John Brown, at Wamfray, and Mr James Gardner, at Saddle. Here I got frequent occasion of preaching in the Scots congregation. In December 1663, my wife came to me, and brought two of the children, the other five were left in Scotland. Hitherto, I can say, dureing my abode at Rotterdam, I have been in my body as free of pains and sickness, and in my mind as free of anxiety, as ever I have been all my life dureing so long a time, and makes accompt that my lot is a great deal easier than of many of those that are at home.

Now, when I look back on the whole, I find the Lord hath given me ane body not very strong, and yet not1 weak. I have sometimes continued reasonable long ryding, both journey and post, without great wearying. I hardly remember that I have wearied in reading and2 studying, although I have continued sometimes seven or eight houres without riseing. I have had my stomach as well after reading ane whole day, as after ryding or any other exercise. Since I began to preach, I hardly ever used any bodily recreation or sport, except walking, nor had I need of any other. There was only two recreations I was in danger to be taken with. The one, I had not the occasion of it but some five or six times, and that some forty years agoe. It was hunting on horseback; but I found it very bewitching. The other was singing in ane consort of musick, wherin I had some little skill, and took great delight; but it was3 some thirty-six years since I used it. I had twice an hot feaver, once in the school of Stirling, and again in the year 16624 in Lanerk.

From fourteen years of age till forty, I was oft troubled with the magrim; from thirty years of age till fifty, I had severall fitts of the gravell, but hardly ever took it, except when some outward



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1    "Very."

2    "Or."

3    "Is."

4    "1622."

PAGE 193

evident cause brought it on, such as watching, fasting, wetness, or cold in my feet, or immoderate studie. I was of ane waterish constitution, and sometimes troubled with the tooth-ake. I thought the use of tobacco helped me. Twice, through cold, I had such ane pain in the lower part in my back, as I could hardly stirr; once in Edinburgh, and again in Leith. I was alwayes short-sighted, and could not discern well any thing or person afar off; but hitherto have found no need of spectacles, and can read as long on small print, and with as little light, and1 wearying, as almost any other. My inclination and disposition was generally softly, timorous, averse from debaits, rather given to laziness then rashness, too easie to be wrought upon. I cannot say what Luther affirmed of himself concerning covetousness; but I may say I have been less troubled with covetousness and cares nor many other ills. I rather inclined to solitariness than company. I was much troubled with wandering of minde and idle thoughts. For outward things, I never was rich, and I never was in want. I do not remember that ever I borrowed money but once in Ireland, some five or six lb. sterling, [and] I got it shortly payed. I choosed rather to want sundry things then to be in debt. I never put any thing to the fore of any mentenance I had; yea, if it had not been for what I gote with my wife, and by the death of her brother, and some others of her friends, I could hardly have maintained my family by any stipend I had in all the three places I was in.

And for my spirituall condition, I cannot deny but sometimes, both in privat and publick, I have found the Lord work upon my heart, and give confirmations of his kindness and engadgements to service; but I doe not remember any particular time of conversion, or that I was much cast down or lift up. I doe remember one night in the Dean of Kilmarnock, having been most of the day before in company with some of the people of Stewartoun, who were under rare exercise in their minds,2 I lay down in some



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1    "With as little."

2    "Exercise of mind."






        
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